I really dont have much to say on here today. I run the risk of whining. I hate whining. Especially when it comes from me. We got the call yesterday that my husband will not be employed by CAT by Dec.1. Panic? Yes for me, though it was short one. Then the controller in me came out and as I started thinking of how i was going to take the bull by the horns, I realized...I have nothing. I give up. I. am. tired.
Again, panic started setting in and then I realized...Im done with that too.
I know what I know and I believe what I believe but I still have one question.
Dear Jesus, I don't get it. I don't get why we are here again. What are we not getting? Are we missing it? Are you mad? Why is it that I have to see my husband be rejected again. Why is it that you keep breaking our hearts? I don't expect a perfect life. I don't expect a normal life. I don't expect an rich life. I don't even expect an easy life. But why is it that every couple of years we get to this point where we are wondering..."What now?" All I know and have the energy to do, is be still. I don't question your Will, because I know that this comes to no surprise to you. Im just asking that you help me understand. Help me to totally surrender and give up my anger and my selfishness to accept what I already know.
You have a plan.